salam peeps!
aigoo... i think this is the most difficult entry yg aku kene tulis.. beribu kali aku type n delete n type again n delete again until i realized something...
susahnya nak write a simple summary on the memorable events which happened 2 me for the past year!! so i cracked my head and i came up with this solution.... i'm gonna make some sort of categories and we'll see what happens, ok? huhuhu.... i'll call these categories as The Good, The Bad and The Whadehel moments, ok?
~The Good~
1. 31.03.2010 will be forever in my mind coz dats the day i started my wonderful blog and this blog is now my saviour... this is the place where i share my feelings, my POV on certain things, the perfect outlet to pour everything out when i really want to punch someone or when i am down wif my illness. it's also my love testament to my beloved pink bunny Minnie.. hehehe....
2. yaya n nuha came to this world n made me realize how beautiful life is.. how magical, how magnificent, how ... err.. i don't think i could find any suitable words to describe how special these two munchkins to me.. so much so until i swear i am willing to cut both of my arm(pits) for them.. (hahha.. tapi macam mane mau makan kalu xde tangan??? hahahha.... lame joke, i know...)
3. i learn a new meaning of love n how this world is actually spinning because of it.. i saw my parents cried because they r afraid 2 lose me... i gained new friends who gave me non-stop support n encouragement, my siblings appreciate me more than ever, i know now that Minnie means everything 2 me.. hahahaha! (the last part is a hyperbole, peeps.. or izzit??? hehehe)..
4. i'm now a good observer... b4 diz, i was too emotional n slalu go wif the flow.. (e.g. kalu bab kutuk2 org.. aku yg xde kaitan pon slalu join nak tambah dosa) but now i believe that i am wiser.. wiser in the sense that i don't want my short life to be filled with hatred n negativity so if anything shitty happens 2 me.. i would take a deep breath n try to understand and view the issue from any possible angle. however, i have 2 admit, sometimes things r not that easy, especially coz there r people who falls under the pathetic re'turd's category yg selalunya mmg wujud as a sinful temptation for weak people like me to tambah dosa... aish.... so, i really need 2 be strong and wise to know that these people do not deserve even a tiny bit of compassion from me and i will discard them easily, like yaya n nuha's soiled pampers (ewewew!!) coz these shitty people mean nothing 2 me...
5. uda gave my my beloved Corby!! hurray!! mmg dah lame berkenan gile nak Corby nih n so far, it has served me well. i may be so mengade2, yelah.. nengok ifonfor nak satu, nengok blekberi nak satu, nengok aipet nak satu.. haish.. tp hakikatnye aku mmg seswai pkai Corby jek coz function die mmg seswai ngan aku.. hahha.. skarang ni tengah demam samsung galeksiteb plak.. x kire! nak jugak... hurmph!! i'll get one as a present 4 me on my birthday.. hhahahha! me don't care! muahahahahahhah!
6. I REALLY2 LOVE MY ABAH + MAMA + ANGAH/IKA/YAYA + UDA/EPOL/NUHA + ATIE + YANA + ACEN...walaupun jantung along lemah n x mampu berdegup kuat, setiap sisa degupan yg ada is entirely becoz of u guyz.. tq 4 being there 4 me during my highest and lowest moments... I WUV U GUYZ BERI2 MUCHO!amuah amuah amuah! (tiru nuka kissing style minus the saliva.. hewhewhew)
1. hate de fact that i am a 30-year-old person with a heart prob. still couldn't accept the fact, actually but bile nengok the amount of meds i hev to take every single day, i know that's my personal life's cruel irony. i hate how my mental abilities have degraded so much until i am so frustrated wif my own 'lembab'ness and ke'lambat pick-up'an in some situation.. benci2.. i know how sharp my mind is but now it's so f***ing slow, so much so until i really feel like slapping my own face when things so simple looked so darn complicated... how i could produce something in a blink of an eye but now i really have to sit down, think, plan and write everything on a piece of paper so that it makes sense... how f***ing frustrating is that? serious shit wif a capital S, dowh!
2. when i browsed through my previous entries, i hate the 'emo' me... 'emo intansidek' was so negative n she let her negativity controlled her life. she lost control n self-composure along the way but alhamdulillah, she managed to find the right path again with the wonderful support around her. y am i writing diz as a third person POV? simple.. i don't want 'emo intansidek' to appear again so i am not deleting any of my previous entries becoz they serve as a reminder for that dark episode of my life...
3. i met some really evil, heartless people last year... b4 diz, i didn't realize that human beings can be so vile on the inside yet parading around with a silhouette of an angel.. yup... this kind of people exist, peeps! seriously i tell u! ish ish ish... n like what i typed earlier, they functioned well in society! nice, huh?
1. my meltdowns... malu gak bile mengenangkan yg i experienced serious mental meltdown more than once.. u know the kind yg 'me-dowan-2-live-anymore-becoz-me-hate-life-n-life-iz not fair' shit? yup, that kind... i blamed everyone n everything sampai i did things yg buat my condition become worse.. ish ish ish... intansidek, kenape anda terok sangat? sungguh lemah n tidak ade langsung semangat yg waja... pathetic, right peeps?
2. certain2 special individuals yg x tau knape hendak mengambil kesempatan di atas keadaan aku pd mase tu... x taula due to what reasons, mayb becoz aku kot yg terok or perhaps i was just conveniently there, in my weakest moment n these individuals saw me as a perfect scape goat to blame me 4 everything, even atas mende2 yg x de kaitan ngan aku pon... adakah ini sume perasaan aku jek, kawan2? tidak2... perkara2 di atas betul2 berlaku n yg beshnye individu2 ini boley bercakap2 n bertepuk-tampar (ececeh.. ayat x hengat!) ngan aku seolah2 macam mende tu x de pape... kagum, kan? amazing!
3. mende2 penting aku yg sentiasa kejap ade kejap xde.. pelan tindakan yg aku dah buat walaupon mase tu aku tgh sakit org kate aku tak buat walaupon aku dah hantar pada org2 yg sepatutnye.. kertas pekse aku org x jumpe walaupon aku dah buat, kire n bungkus sesempurna mungkin n letak kan di tempat yg sepatutnye.. yg paling hebat yelah aku nyer register yg x nampak batang idong walaupon aku rase macam aku x pegang mende tu tp masalahnye aku x ingat langsung bile last time aku pegang mende tu.. terbaaaeeek, kan??!? ini lah namenye nyanyok tahap kronik........ hewhewhew..............
oklah peeps! tulah serba sedikit mende2 memorable yg jadik kat aku sepanjang tahon ni.. lebey banyak buruk dari baik, lebey banyak kumpul dosa dr pahala, lebey mundur dari maju ke depan n obviously... diz is so not u, intansidek! u r stronger than diz so pliz change n be a better person, ok! banyak org sayang n care about u so balas balik kasih sayang diorang ngan berjanji 2 do ur very best in everything n most importantly, do not give up b4 u even start fighting becoz that would be the worst thing that u can do.. u might do a lot of stoopid things but being a coward n a wussy is so not u.. so buck up, grit ur teeth, lessen the whining part and say diz loudly..life, what ever u wanna give me, BRING IT ON, BEYBEH! owh yeah! GERONIMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sape, ek pakcik ni?? sesedap rase jek org sebut name dia kalu nak kamikaze wat something...)
anywhooooooooooooo....
4. i'm now a good observer... b4 diz, i was too emotional n slalu go wif the flow.. (e.g. kalu bab kutuk2 org.. aku yg xde kaitan pon slalu join nak tambah dosa) but now i believe that i am wiser.. wiser in the sense that i don't want my short life to be filled with hatred n negativity so if anything shitty happens 2 me.. i would take a deep breath n try to understand and view the issue from any possible angle. however, i have 2 admit, sometimes things r not that easy, especially coz there r people who falls under the pathetic re'turd's category yg selalunya mmg wujud as a sinful temptation for weak people like me to tambah dosa... aish.... so, i really need 2 be strong and wise to know that these people do not deserve even a tiny bit of compassion from me and i will discard them easily, like yaya n nuha's soiled pampers (ewewew!!) coz these shitty people mean nothing 2 me...
5. uda gave my my beloved Corby!! hurray!! mmg dah lame berkenan gile nak Corby nih n so far, it has served me well. i may be so mengade2, yelah.. nengok ifonfor nak satu, nengok blekberi nak satu, nengok aipet nak satu.. haish.. tp hakikatnye aku mmg seswai pkai Corby jek coz function die mmg seswai ngan aku.. hahha.. skarang ni tengah demam samsung galeksiteb plak.. x kire! nak jugak... hurmph!! i'll get one as a present 4 me on my birthday.. hhahahha! me don't care! muahahahahahhah!
6. I REALLY2 LOVE MY ABAH + MAMA + ANGAH/IKA/YAYA + UDA/EPOL/NUHA + ATIE + YANA + ACEN...walaupun jantung along lemah n x mampu berdegup kuat, setiap sisa degupan yg ada is entirely becoz of u guyz.. tq 4 being there 4 me during my highest and lowest moments... I WUV U GUYZ BERI2 MUCHO!amuah amuah amuah! (tiru nuka kissing style minus the saliva.. hewhewhew)
~The Bad~
1. hate de fact that i am a 30-year-old person with a heart prob. still couldn't accept the fact, actually but bile nengok the amount of meds i hev to take every single day, i know that's my personal life's cruel irony. i hate how my mental abilities have degraded so much until i am so frustrated wif my own 'lembab'ness and ke'lambat pick-up'an in some situation.. benci2.. i know how sharp my mind is but now it's so f***ing slow, so much so until i really feel like slapping my own face when things so simple looked so darn complicated... how i could produce something in a blink of an eye but now i really have to sit down, think, plan and write everything on a piece of paper so that it makes sense... how f***ing frustrating is that? serious shit wif a capital S, dowh!
2. when i browsed through my previous entries, i hate the 'emo' me... 'emo intansidek' was so negative n she let her negativity controlled her life. she lost control n self-composure along the way but alhamdulillah, she managed to find the right path again with the wonderful support around her. y am i writing diz as a third person POV? simple.. i don't want 'emo intansidek' to appear again so i am not deleting any of my previous entries becoz they serve as a reminder for that dark episode of my life...
3. i met some really evil, heartless people last year... b4 diz, i didn't realize that human beings can be so vile on the inside yet parading around with a silhouette of an angel.. yup... this kind of people exist, peeps! seriously i tell u! ish ish ish... n like what i typed earlier, they functioned well in society! nice, huh?
~The Whadehel??~
(puke colour... hahha.. take that! :P)
1. my meltdowns... malu gak bile mengenangkan yg i experienced serious mental meltdown more than once.. u know the kind yg 'me-dowan-2-live-anymore-becoz-me-hate-life-n-life-iz not fair' shit? yup, that kind... i blamed everyone n everything sampai i did things yg buat my condition become worse.. ish ish ish... intansidek, kenape anda terok sangat? sungguh lemah n tidak ade langsung semangat yg waja... pathetic, right peeps?
2. certain2 special individuals yg x tau knape hendak mengambil kesempatan di atas keadaan aku pd mase tu... x taula due to what reasons, mayb becoz aku kot yg terok or perhaps i was just conveniently there, in my weakest moment n these individuals saw me as a perfect scape goat to blame me 4 everything, even atas mende2 yg x de kaitan ngan aku pon... adakah ini sume perasaan aku jek, kawan2? tidak2... perkara2 di atas betul2 berlaku n yg beshnye individu2 ini boley bercakap2 n bertepuk-tampar (ececeh.. ayat x hengat!) ngan aku seolah2 macam mende tu x de pape... kagum, kan? amazing!
3. mende2 penting aku yg sentiasa kejap ade kejap xde.. pelan tindakan yg aku dah buat walaupon mase tu aku tgh sakit org kate aku tak buat walaupon aku dah hantar pada org2 yg sepatutnye.. kertas pekse aku org x jumpe walaupon aku dah buat, kire n bungkus sesempurna mungkin n letak kan di tempat yg sepatutnye.. yg paling hebat yelah aku nyer register yg x nampak batang idong walaupon aku rase macam aku x pegang mende tu tp masalahnye aku x ingat langsung bile last time aku pegang mende tu.. terbaaaeeek, kan??!? ini lah namenye nyanyok tahap kronik........ hewhewhew..............
oklah peeps! tulah serba sedikit mende2 memorable yg jadik kat aku sepanjang tahon ni.. lebey banyak buruk dari baik, lebey banyak kumpul dosa dr pahala, lebey mundur dari maju ke depan n obviously... diz is so not u, intansidek! u r stronger than diz so pliz change n be a better person, ok! banyak org sayang n care about u so balas balik kasih sayang diorang ngan berjanji 2 do ur very best in everything n most importantly, do not give up b4 u even start fighting becoz that would be the worst thing that u can do.. u might do a lot of stoopid things but being a coward n a wussy is so not u.. so buck up, grit ur teeth, lessen the whining part and say diz loudly..life, what ever u wanna give me, BRING IT ON, BEYBEH! owh yeah! GERONIMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sape, ek pakcik ni?? sesedap rase jek org sebut name dia kalu nak kamikaze wat something...)
anywhooooooooooooo....
HAPPY NEW YEAR peeeps!!
