Blog 27: seksanya idop bile berukband wat hal!!

take that berukband meksis!
(tengah marah tahap gaban potong lapan)

time: 3.30 p.m.

berukband meksis aku wat hal lagi.. kali ni almost 4 days x ley gune... BODO betol!!! opps!! 'ter'mencarot pulak... pasai ape? alah... some stoopid reason saying dat ade pihak tampered with their pemancar.. iyolahtu... ade jek alasan ko... yg kene bayor kang aku gak... dahla lambat bayar jek mesti kene bar... aigooo...

bile x de tenet ni barulah aku sedar betape idop aku betul2 bergantong pade mende nih... tetibe rase idop kosong gile, banyak lak mase lapang... hahahha... hari pertama x tengok minnie, bley tahan lagik... masuk hari ke empat... ake rase macam seriously nak belasah orang... haiz... minnie, i mish u.. wuwuuw... aigoo, seb baek koleksi minnie vid aku dah penuh dalam portable hard disk aku, kalu tak... bak kate yana.. i'll be plucking 'grapes' tonite.. hahhaha.. (private joke between aku n my perverted sis, yana si pompuan elestik)

minggu yg x brape besh.. saket memanjang... benci tetibe ngan diri sendirik yg very2 unpredictable... dah wat plan besh gile nak layan twillight ngan my students pon kene pospon... aish!! aku dah siap pileh baju lagik... bencinyeh!!

nampak gayenye weeken ni kene rehat jek kat umah... ape nak buat.. inilah naseb ku.. huhuhu....

sudah! malas nk dengar alasan ko meksis!!
(beruk emo tunjuk perasaan menentang situasi yang tidah adil ini)

p/s: maaf di atas kandungan2 yg terover dalam blog kali ini.. bile aku dah marah, inilah jadiknye!!!

Blog 26: antara penat, letih dan kecewa...

time: 6.30 p.m.

minggu yg amat memenatkan buat aku... banyak kerja2 yg tertangguh sebab nak kene redo balik mende penting yg ilang tu... naseb baek student aku banyak membantu, kalu x bley masuk sepital lagi aku nampak gayenyer... so to zue, myda, fyda, fyra, alin n mimi... thanx so very2 much.. luv u guys!! diz weekend kite layan twilight, ok!

dada n pernafasan rase sempit balik... tah knape tah.. boring gak sebenornye.. yelah.. ubat dah makan, air dah kontrol.. tetibe rase soosah nk napas lak.. buat org risau jek... takot gak kalu lungs masuk air lagik.. adoih.. cukup2 pengalaman2 dulu... serik giler rasernye..

surroundings n orang2 sekeliling.. emm.. ok.. bleyla.. biasela, tak kan sume ok ye tak.. tapi as long as aku boley tahan.. aku kan tahan sebaik mungkin n try tunjuk muke ok walaupon hakikatnye Tuhan jek tau betape nak pengsan nye aku rase time tuh...

teringkat ade sumbody kat skolah tanye aku, "intan, esok sihat kan? datang skolah kan?"... haiz... aku tau niatnye baik tapi macam aku kate dlm blog2 aku dulu lah.. some people ingat sakit aku ni memain... very tempted to say.. "kak, ajal maut di tangan Tuhan... kalu masih hidup, saya datang la besok.." tapi nampak macam rude gile plak.. tu lah.. but i hev 2 admit, tension n letih gak kenkadang berhadapan dgn golongan manusia2 camnih...

ok lah.. buangkan yg negatif, pikirkan yg positif... my F1 classes ok la gak... lame jugak aku x ajar F1 students so rase bingit gak dengan diorang nye non-stop talking.. adoih!! sabar2....

kyu dah ade twitter n tu pon buat aku pissed off... kalu minnie tak deactivate acc ye.. aku dah dapat 1 set dah... GERAM!!... minnie bagi alasan yg ye x leh nak update his twitter all de time so he feels guilty to all his followers... tidak kah die tau betapa broken-hearted nye aku bile die padam acc ye.. adoih minnie... ko pecah berderaikan hati dan perasaan ku ko x rase guilty lak!! aish!! kang chentaku beralih arah pade kyu ke, hyukkie ke baru ko tau.. hahhahha .... (ni dah obvious aku dah x betol..)....

oklah, aku nak berehat... intan noorfaiza, jangan sakit!!

~~~coretan tahahehape 4~~~

Minnie deleted his twitter account...

WHY??

He also put his photo n diary section in his cyworld under 'private'... hmmmm..




Any theories on why he did that?

Atie's theory (1)
"Ala, long .. die dah start emo balik la tu... tah knape tah die tu.. kejap ok kejap emo...susah nk paham betol la... berat badan naek balik kot... tengok pon dah makin tumbam skarang... tengok kyu, langsung x de twitter.. huhuhu"

Yana's theory (2)
"Gf die marah kot die dok habeskan mase main twitter... pastu x layan awek die.. dahla mase terhad nak klua dating, pastu tangan sebok tekan2 phone.. sape x hangin? Musti gf die kate kalau u syg i delete ur account.. choose either me or ur stoopid twitter...
(lakonan drama sebabak pompuan elestik bernama yana)"

Zue's theory (3)
"OMG tche, he deleted his account.. not himself!! N'way, as long as Heechul did not delete his acc than it's fine wif me.. hehe.."

Uda's theory (4)
"Ape? Delete account twitter? Knape? Die ade twitter? Ooo.. along pon ade twitter... ooo.. along ade twitter pasal minnie ade twitter, baru paham.. err... (ummi nuha yg agak blur terpakse melayan omma dan pade mase yg same kene melayan nuha, masak dinner n piker psl keje yg bertimbun2 kat pejabat)


So kesimpulannye...

MINNIE, WHY DID U DELETE UR ACCOUNT???
WAAAAA!!!!

I HATE U FOR BEING SO MYSTERIOUS
AND
COMPLICATED!!


I HATE U FOR BEING IGNORANT
AND
REFUSING TO SHARE OR SHOW
ANY EMOTION AT ALL
IN ANY SITUATION!!


But most importantly,
I hate u for ur natural ability
to make me happy,
even if it's merely just by reading ur daily tweets
or looking at ur innocent face...

Blog 25: kalau dah nak hilang.... GERAM NYE AKU!!!

time: 2.00 p.m.

penah x korang hilang satu mende yg amat2 penting? pastu carik punye carik, sampai umah ngan bilik jadik tonggang langgang pon masih x jumpe2 jugak... tension kan? gitulah keadaan aku sekarang ni.. mende yang aku ilang ni amatlah penting, so kesudahannye aku kene re-do sume mende tu balik.. tension2...

seb baek aku ade student2 yg boley harap nak tolong, kalau tak.. alamat mati keringla aku nampaknye.. yg paling buat aku tension yelah aku ni bukannye manusia yang lengai sangat n my memory pon boley tahan sharp jugak.. kalau x, tak kan aku bley hapal jalan dgn mudah sampai ramai org yg impressed (uish, naik lif tekan sendirik la pulak.) ... n'way, pasal mende ni memang aku x ingat langsong.... tu yg buat aku hangin satu badan!! macam otak aku ade satu spot yg kosong, puas aku cube gak ingat, tapi x berhasil.. BENCI!!!

ape nak buat.. ni la orang kate dugaan... bersabar intan noorfaiza, banyak kan beristigfar... mende ni jadik saje jek nak tengok tahap kesabaran ku macam mane kot....

p/s: tp yg paling benci skali, kalu aku dah siap balik buat sume mende, sure tetibe jek mende tu muncul balik.. haiz.. time tu naseb la sape2 yg ade depan mate.. aku karate-chop tulang keting sampai patah 2!!! wargh!!!!

Blog 24: am i sentimental or just a plain crybaby?

time: 8.15 p.m.

kebelakangan ni aku makin kuat menangis.. emo x kire tempat... kenkadang air mate bley turun mencurah2 pasal nengok mende bodo2 jek.. knape ek? adakan ini sesuatu yg normal untuk noona kiut berumur 18 tahon? (plus minus 12 tahun.. hehhe)... ehehhh....

dulu aku x plak macam ni.. betol, aku x tipu.. mase aku dok tendang kucing yg menggesel2 kat aku (psl aku ni penakot kucing... aku rase macam diorang ade agenda tersendiri nk serang aku..), sikit pon air mate aku tak klua... skarang ni, nengok anak kucing pon bley buat aku meraung x pasal2..

ha tulah.. ni sume balasan kat aku pasal dok tendang kucing dulu2 (maap ye pd sume2 kucing2... aku amat jahil mase dule... skarang aku tobat x buat lagi).. kalau hyaku or sen yg datang mengesel2, aku akan tahan perasaan cuak aku tu sepenuh hati pasal tuan diorang minnie... hahhahhaha.....

tengok youtube pon skarang ley buat aku meraung.. sile bace betol2 ye.. MERAUNG.. bukan menangis.. tah kenape tah... baby buat aksi terlampau kiut joget2 pon bley buat air mate aku bergenang... nengok kangin masuk army pon aku dah nanges x hengat... nuha lembik n x aktif kayuh2 macam biase pasal demam ari tu pon aku dah sedu sedan.. aish... emo emo.. adakah aku dah terjangkit penyakit emo sementara yana? hanya masa yg akan menentukan...

yg penting skarang aku rase penat sangat nanges2 nih... aku nak senyummmmmm jekk.... hahhha.. oleh itu aku akan menonton MV No Other Suju hari2 krn aku pasti senyum bile nengok diorang... muhahhahhha.............. satu lagi, aku juge akan melayan nuha si pipi pau kukus n auliya tomei sampai aku penat pasal diorang pon buat aku buat aku happy... hahhahha................

Blog 23: bile kite dah mule menyusahkan orang....

time: 10.00 p.m.

kebelakangan ni kesihatan aku agak teruk.. after aku buat angio, aku ingat things will get better (meaning i will be healthier) tapi as usual, aku hanya mampu merancang n berharap.... kaki aku start bengkak balik macam kaki hulk walaupon aku dah makan ubat, especially lassix on time.. pastu badan aku jadik x tentu arah, kejap demam.. kejap muntah.. kejap loya.. kejap selsema... kejap batok... aigoo...

yg paling tensen ialah bile aku terpaksa mintak mc berkali2.. tu x masuk cuti rehat after angio bla bla bla... my superior punye tone pon dah laen macam... nampak macam pissed off tapi ape yg boley aku buat? aku x mampu nak halang mende ni from jadik kat aku... believe me, kalau aku larat, jalan tempang2 pon aku datang keje.. bukannye sronok sangat duduk kat umah melayan sakit ni.. especially bile batok je rase macam nak tercabot jantong....

abah suddenly went all emo ngan aku n he said, "x sangke kan long, hang boleh jadik macam ni tetibe jek... dulu hang aktif sangat, jalan pon laju..." n aku dah x dengar sangat pasal aku dah sedey gile dengar abah cakap macam tu... nampak macam die pon dah x larat nak tengok2 kan aku... opps.. aku pulak yg terlebey emo...

mama x brape sihat so aku pon take over jage nuha ngan abah n mase aku dukung die tetibe aku rase mende menyucuk kat dada... last time aku rase macam ni yelah mase aku kene mild heart attack a few months back so aku rase cuak sesangat.. naseb baek pastu pernafasan kire okey n teratur balik.. cuak cuak.... maybe aku tunduk n angkat nuha cara salah kot (sudden movement) tu pasal jantung aku x ley cope ngan perubahan rentak degupan tu....

sampai skarang aku masih lagi bise2 badan n kaki kanan masih lagi bengkak.. batok jangan citerla.. tekak aku rase macam nak terkoyak jek... sakit gile... so adekah aku cukup tenaga nak gi skool besok? bolehkah aku berjalan tanpa risiko collapse tetibe? kalu aku cuti lagi musti ade yang rase muak ngan perangai aku ni.. yelah.. asyik cuti.. taula sakit tapi kalau aku kene take over keje ko sampai nak dekat 7 bulan ni.. apehal? (bayangan aku jek mende nih tapi manelah tau ade yg berfikiran begitu...)

tolonglah aku..... ape yg perlu aku buat nih???

(opsyen a)
x gi skolah, sambong mc, orang kene relief kelas, budak x blaja = ORANG MENYAMPAH

(opsyen b)
pakse diri pegi skolah, jalan macam kekura (kalau bley jalan), pengsan tetibe/putus nafas = ORANG MENYAMPAH

so kesimpulannye.... MEMANG ORG AKAN MEYAMPAH KAT AKU... huhuhu..........

Blog 22: talking about depression....

time: 12.00 a.m.


depression... such a gloomy thing to discuss... tapi since aku dah terbace about dis in one of my student's blog, i think i need to say something about it...

aku rase depression ade dalam everyone's life.. itu satu mende yg x dapat aku nafikan.. mustahil seseorang tu bley idop kalau die sentiase happy memanjang.. (nanti lelame kene antor gi tg rambutan). teenage years pulak ialah zaman yg paling banyak ups n downs, like a crazy rollercoaster.. so depression tu slalulah jugak berlaku... n almost anything can trigger it, bukan hanya sad n gloomy episodes only...

my student has a point, she said she doesn't expect everyone to understand her but the most important thing is that she hopes no one will forget n leave her.. she also said i did not understand her since i playfully say that i couldn't imagine she being depressed because she seems happy all the time.. n i think this is the part where she does not understand me too...

well my dear, what i can say is.. be patient n try 2 be positive.... i hev 2 agree dat life do suck at times n there are a gazillion things that irks n annoys u but it takes real courage n inner strength to look at the positive side at any shitty things dat happens... personally, up until now i'm also still searching 4 dat strength in me but now i know for sure that life is too precious n short for us to dwell on such trivial matters...

before dis i was too busy searching for fake, materialistic joy n satisfaction (money, fame, wealth) until i forgot to stop for a while to smell the roses or to look at the beautiful rainbow...

until fate smacked me right on my face when i realize i might not be able to do those things anymore when i neglected my health n at times joked about it...

i couldn't watch my students perform in the nasyid competition since loud sound tend to quicken my heartbeat....

i couldn't cope wif my mama's walking pace even though she is already 56 years old with a bad back n a serious case of rheumatism...

i have to accept that i was born wif some sort of defect in my heart n believe me, that is the hardest part because in other words, metaphorically, it is as if i am a brand new car but was equipped wif a low-class engine of an old, battered used-car...

n that sucks because i was not given a choice.. but again, if i am to dwell on this matter, it will take me forever to blame everyone n everything around me... n my time is running short...

so i choose to be happy... i try to look n b positive in every situation but believe me, it is difficult... it's a challenge 4 me everyday but i would rather go (when my time comes) as a fighter who fights till de last breath and not some sort of coward who plainly gives up n believes that life is being unfair 2 me...

why? because believe me, if dat happens, it would be the most shitty part of all...

Blog 21: wuwuwuw.... atie.. i miss u!!!

time: 9.00 p.m.

atie dah daftar masters die kat usm ari isnin lepas... wuwuuwuw.. skarang aku x de sape nak layan korea dengan... ude kate bley borak ngan atie gune webcam, tapi mane same kan? dahla laptop ye wat hal lak.. aigoo...

seb baek die balik kejap weekend nih pasal nuha nyer cukur jambol... oh ye, tadi bawak nuha si pipi pau kukus gi checkup n injeksyen kat prince court... mase doc injek ye x nangis sangat tapi pastu die punye melalak... siap marah2 ala2 men**toot** lagi.. hahahha.. klaka klaka... meraselak gak bawak anak gi injek.. penat sey...

Suju no other nyer mv baru btol2 wat aku happy n tersenyum2 sendirik.. xtau pasal ape.. macam dah kronik lak aku rase.. so aku sedang cabar diri aku untuk tgk mv tu hari2 n test sampai bile ia mampu wat aku tersenyum2 tanpa perlu dipakse2.. hahha.. stakat ni dah masuk hari ke-3.. tapi bile aku cakap pasal mende ni kat yana, ye x faham pasal ape aku excited sangat... wuwuuw.......

huwaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! atie!!!!!!!!!!!! pliz come back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wuuuwuwuwuuwuwwu!!!!!!!!!

~~~coretan tahapehape 3~~~

suju dah klua single baru.. No Other n i really luv diz song! Why?

1) luv their smiling faces.. macam zaman2 marry u... very cute + sweet especially Minnie ku... huhuhu......

2) suke konsep diorang diz time, fresh n easy listening.. muak gak ngan konsep dark n beastly all the time coz dah banyak sangat group yang macam tu skarang...

3) luv the fact that they are among the oldest idols around but they managed to pull the cute concept successfully without being cheesy n yukky... n they didn't seem fake too.. (OMG diz is so fangirling!!!)

4) Minnie.. what more can i say... luv his smile, the twinkle in his eyes, how he enjoyed himself singing n fooling around wif wookie... lame dah x nampak minnie yg camni.. yg aku rindu sesangat... hahhahha.... (musti ade sesape yg dah nak start muntah.. silekan, ade aku halang?)

knape aku nampak macam suju boys amek diz opportunity 2 show their feelings 2 their gfs? ade manyak hidden luv signs.. even from kyu!! (atie nye heart dah pecah berderai.. hahahhhahha!). aku tunggu gak minnie punye sign.. x de pon.... apakah???

nah.. enjoy de song!!!!

Blog 20: diriku kembali!!

time: 12.00 p.m.

assalamualaikum.... lamenye aku on hiatus... bukan nye ape... last month aku betol2 risau pasal nak wat angio... ramai yg bagi kete2 perangsang, ade yg kate x saket sangat... sikit jek... small procedure... tapi sebenarnya yg diorang x faham, aku bukannye takot pasal de procedure.. pade aku saket macam mane pon insya allah aku bley tahan, ape yg lebih membimbangkan aku yelah result die... aku x taw sama ada aku ade cukup kekuatan nak menerima 'hentaman' baru kalau result die x seperti yg aku harapkan...

n'way, sumenye tlh berjalan dengan lancar.. syukur pada Allah... resultnye...

my heart x de blockage.. yep, REALLY, REALLY CLEAR... x de sebarang indication yg tunjukkan ade tersumbat di mana2 saluran.. mase dpt the result my tears dah turun macam ujan dah.. bersyukur sangat2... lebeh2 lagi bile my cardiologist said everything looks good so far, pumping rate pon dah naik to 50% ... cume jantung masih agak besar n the muscle is still not dat strong... xpelah... ape yg aku dapat achieve stakat ni pon dah cukup baik bagi aku...

when i came back 2 school, my students were so concerned about my well beings n i'm really thankful 4 dat... i might get some shit*y adults who u knowlah (malas nak citer lebey lebey kat sinih) tp tu sume x penting... anak2 murid aku lebih berperi kemanusiaan dgn menunjukkan their full support wholeheartedly, unlike some ****** yg asyik2 nk bagi pandangan n pendapat2 sinis yg x memberikan kesan langsung pd aku... hahhha.. kesian orang2 macam nih...

oleh itu, intan noorfaiza yg baru akan lebih bersemangat dan cekal krn dia sedar ramai org yg sayang pada dia... ;)

p/s: i luv u guys too... u know who u r....

gambar kaki aku lepas angio.. water rention kaw kaw nye sampai kaki jadik macaam kaki hulk...

hahha... tengok kaki sendirik pon klaka.... aigoo....