time: 12.00 a.m.
depression... such a gloomy thing to discuss... tapi since aku dah terbace about dis in one of my student's blog, i think i need to say something about it...
aku rase depression ade dalam everyone's life.. itu satu mende yg x dapat aku nafikan.. mustahil seseorang tu bley idop kalau die sentiase happy memanjang.. (nanti lelame kene antor gi tg rambutan). teenage years pulak ialah zaman yg paling banyak ups n downs, like a crazy rollercoaster.. so depression tu slalulah jugak berlaku... n almost anything can trigger it, bukan hanya sad n gloomy episodes only...
my student has a point, she said she doesn't expect everyone to understand her but the most important thing is that she hopes no one will forget n leave her.. she also said i did not understand her since i playfully say that i couldn't imagine she being depressed because she seems happy all the time.. n i think this is the part where she does not understand me too...
well my dear, what i can say is.. be patient n try 2 be positive.... i hev 2 agree dat life do suck at times n there are a gazillion things that irks n annoys u but it takes real courage n inner strength to look at the positive side at any shitty things dat happens... personally, up until now i'm also still searching 4 dat strength in me but now i know for sure that life is too precious n short for us to dwell on such trivial matters...
before dis i was too busy searching for fake, materialistic joy n satisfaction (money, fame, wealth) until i forgot to stop for a while to smell the roses or to look at the beautiful rainbow...
until fate smacked me right on my face when i realize i might not be able to do those things anymore when i neglected my health n at times joked about it...
i couldn't watch my students perform in the nasyid competition since loud sound tend to quicken my heartbeat....
i couldn't cope wif my mama's walking pace even though she is already 56 years old with a bad back n a serious case of rheumatism...
i have to accept that i was born wif some sort of defect in my heart n believe me, that is the hardest part because in other words, metaphorically, it is as if i am a brand new car but was equipped wif a low-class engine of an old, battered used-car...
n that sucks because i was not given a choice.. but again, if i am to dwell on this matter, it will take me forever to blame everyone n everything around me... n my time is running short...
so i choose to be happy... i try to look n b positive in every situation but believe me, it is difficult... it's a challenge 4 me everyday but i would rather go (when my time comes) as a fighter who fights till de last breath and not some sort of coward who plainly gives up n believes that life is being unfair 2 me...
why? because believe me, if dat happens, it would be the most shitty part of all...
depression... such a gloomy thing to discuss... tapi since aku dah terbace about dis in one of my student's blog, i think i need to say something about it...
aku rase depression ade dalam everyone's life.. itu satu mende yg x dapat aku nafikan.. mustahil seseorang tu bley idop kalau die sentiase happy memanjang.. (nanti lelame kene antor gi tg rambutan). teenage years pulak ialah zaman yg paling banyak ups n downs, like a crazy rollercoaster.. so depression tu slalulah jugak berlaku... n almost anything can trigger it, bukan hanya sad n gloomy episodes only...
my student has a point, she said she doesn't expect everyone to understand her but the most important thing is that she hopes no one will forget n leave her.. she also said i did not understand her since i playfully say that i couldn't imagine she being depressed because she seems happy all the time.. n i think this is the part where she does not understand me too...
well my dear, what i can say is.. be patient n try 2 be positive.... i hev 2 agree dat life do suck at times n there are a gazillion things that irks n annoys u but it takes real courage n inner strength to look at the positive side at any shitty things dat happens... personally, up until now i'm also still searching 4 dat strength in me but now i know for sure that life is too precious n short for us to dwell on such trivial matters...
before dis i was too busy searching for fake, materialistic joy n satisfaction (money, fame, wealth) until i forgot to stop for a while to smell the roses or to look at the beautiful rainbow...
until fate smacked me right on my face when i realize i might not be able to do those things anymore when i neglected my health n at times joked about it...
i couldn't watch my students perform in the nasyid competition since loud sound tend to quicken my heartbeat....
i couldn't cope wif my mama's walking pace even though she is already 56 years old with a bad back n a serious case of rheumatism...
i have to accept that i was born wif some sort of defect in my heart n believe me, that is the hardest part because in other words, metaphorically, it is as if i am a brand new car but was equipped wif a low-class engine of an old, battered used-car...
n that sucks because i was not given a choice.. but again, if i am to dwell on this matter, it will take me forever to blame everyone n everything around me... n my time is running short...
so i choose to be happy... i try to look n b positive in every situation but believe me, it is difficult... it's a challenge 4 me everyday but i would rather go (when my time comes) as a fighter who fights till de last breath and not some sort of coward who plainly gives up n believes that life is being unfair 2 me...
why? because believe me, if dat happens, it would be the most shitty part of all...
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